What Exactly is Going On Here? Who’s in Charge Here?

SlyHard, what a stupid fucking name. Is that supposed to be, like, Die Hard but as a pun? It sounds like a porn parody. Was SneakyBoner already taken or something?  Oh awesome, another white, male writer who tries to act edgy but with a tinge of truth? Color me shocked. Is the word “color” racist, by the way? I can’t keep track. Do you want to report him to YouTube or should I? What does SlyHard even mean, exactly? He needs to check his privilege. What a douchebag. People like him are a forest fire: if you take away their platform, you take away their oxygen. Just ignore him; he’s angry that the patriarchy is finally coming to an end. I actually hope he dies in a fire. Let me guess, he thinks he’s saving the world by posting boobs, memes, and dirty jokes? SlyHard sounds like a date rapist from an AOL chatroom. He’s definitely on the wrong side of history. The media says he just wants to manipulate us for clicks. Doesn’t he know what I’ve been through? I do like his Daily Meditations, though. How can the same person be sensitive and such an asshole at the same time? It doesn’t make any sense. His toxic masculinity makes me sick, I don’t know how any woman can stand him. Do you know if he’s single? Anything nice he says is just pandering so don’t fall for it. Obviously he is trying to trick people, just look at his terrible name. I can’t tell if I hate him or just am annoyed by him. His rhetoric is problematic. Fascist. Xenophobe. Homophobe. Just another alt-right troll. Who just says exactly what they’re thinking? How can you trust someone like that?

Welcome, lovers, to SlyHard, a place for the quiet majority to band together and dispel the fringe lunacy that has become commonplace in our über-political world. We exist to shine a lens of truth on the multitude of lies that we are told by government leaders, financiers, globalist reactionaries, and the media. If you feel something is missing in your life, like you follow every rule but never seem to get ahead, then stick around and become part of this community. You’ll begin to see the disturbing truth of the world: that bureaucratic societies are never built to help you succeed, and that childish tantrums in favor of more interference only stunts your potential to overcome the mess into which you were born. Militarized factions from both political parties think they are evening the playing field for their identity groups; so blinded are they by emotion that they will never understand how their actions incessantly undermine the human spirit. These loud, angry thought leaders revel in problems but balk at solutions, instead relying on daily manipulation to squelch your independent leadership potential in favor of fear, danger, and discontent. In order to thrive in this purposefully chaotic existence, you must learn to think critically and spot manipulations as they arise. By developing an edge about you—a sharpness that cuts through the incessant noise of complaining, self-doubt, and resentment—you will transcend the trappings of a lost society and find within yourself a power that the world will label as dangerous. The more that they fight you, the more you know that you’re on to something.

We ultimately strive to create resilient, independent, educated men and women who celebrate their differences positively and without reservation. Faith, philanthropy, social acumen, and critical thinking will be valued most highly; followed by vitality, artistic expression, and charisma. We want to make you laugh, challenge your boundaries, and encourage a life without the anxieties that politically correct culture demands. Most purveyors of political correctness truly believe in its noble intentions, but they cannot admit or understand how damaging outrage culture can be to the social fabric of humanity. You can reject the lies of modern society without acting offensively, crudely, or with superior patronization. To world leaders and the philosophical elite, your recognition of your own personal power threatens their carefully constructed vision of a docile society: therefore they will ceaselessly slander anything that you say or do that implies your rejection of subservience to them. Let us show you how to spot the spin tactics and overcome the militarized thought suppression which has completely swallowed American discourse.

Our vision of a perfectly executed life comes from the great messiahs of religion and spirituality: humility, empathy, and meekness begets personal responsibility, rejection of obsessive anger, and eventual enlightenment as it pertains to the trappings of the physical world. Being a part of this community means that you will be attacked for rejecting the common goals of the world, but also means that you will lead a rich life in which your unwavering personal power attracts everything you have ever wanted. Many people achieve fame or wealth in this life, but eventually succumb to addictions and dis-ease because they were never prepared for the peak of the mountain, so all that was left to do was fall. To get everything you’ve ever wanted in life, and then enjoy it for eternity everlasting, you must first lay down all preconceived notions about the world and recalibrate your behavior according to the fundamental truths of the universe. Once you’ve mentally transcended the obnoxious, petty noise of the ignorant masses, you’ll begin to view the world with a gentle detachment, free to enjoy all of its wonders with renewed spirit and purpose. Let us show you how to live a life that truly matters, not in order to shame detractors, but to lead by example. Welcome to the party, pal. Welcome to SlyHard.